Take time to read ‘coz I wrote this for you.
January- the first month of the year 2016. This is the month that we’ve met. You’re a friend of my friend and I’m a friend of your friend. Small world isn’t? They teased us since we’re both single. We hang out every weekend with them.
As the day passes by we’ve been closer. We spend too much time on weekend. Just us not with our friends.
It was Friday night when we went out for a dinner in a fancy restaurant. We ate a lot and had a few drinks. That was the longest conversation that we had I think. You asked me to go with you..in your place to have some tea. Since I feel tired and exhausted I did not hesitate.
We went to your house. We sat next to each other in your couch. We were so quiet. I think we’re both sober that time and we both felt awkward. Then you get up and give me some tea.
And it all started…you held my hand and kissed it. You asked me about my truth and I don’t understand what truth do you want from me. Seriously if you’d just explained it to me I could have gave you what you’ve asked. You told me that night that you liked me. You liked me ever since we’ve met. You just don’t know what to do. But I didn’t say anything coz honestly? I don’t know what to say. I like you but I can’t say it that night coz I wasn’t sure if you are sincere and serious. We both know that we had a few drinks that night. You asked me to stay with you till morning. I disagree.
I want to go home that night coz I feel uncomfortable. I asked you to take me home. And you did by the way in case you forgot. You were so happy that night I think.
On the next day, you texted me and asked me how I was. You texted me everyday if I’m okay. Of course I was not okay. Whenever we went out with our friends it feels awkward. You smiled at me like nothing happened. I was waiting for you to asked me, not if I’m okay but asked me what and how I felt about that night. But you didn’t. I asked you how you feel and you’ve said you’re okay but then you look away from me. I feel clueless and empty coz I can’t figure it out what is wrong and what did I do wrong.
And then just one day…you ignored me. I am like a shadow to you. What did I do?
Another day has come still you’re ignoring me.
Weekend. Our friends went to a party and so do you. You were looking for me but I wasn’t there coz I was sick. Same day you texted me if I was okay If I was feeling better. I said I’m not and I just need some rest. I thought we’re okay again. The feelings that I had that day was happiness. Happiness coz I felt like you’re back. But I was wrong.
We hang out again with our friends. You were so aloof to me. You’re ignoring me again. I don’t understand you. I don’t understand what is happening. I don’t understand how and why this things happened. The friendship that we had. It was all gone. I can see it in your eyes that you still want me. Words can be deceiving but the action and the way you look at me? I can tell that half of your heart is saying that you want me. I don’t know if I was just assuming but women’s instincts are always right. (Correct me if I’m wrong.)
Waiting is okay if it’s worth it. I’m telling you that I am not afraid to wait. I just don’t want to wait for something that will never happen.
“Two of the hardest test in life: The patience to wait for the right moment and the courage to accept that you’ve waited for nothing.” – life quotes.
halimhubunhayat 